For most Muslim theologians a urfi marriage is not valid unless it is publicly announced. Nevertheless, it is still believed that a bride must be a virgin on her wedding night. In Egypt, as in the rest of the Arab world, descent is traced through the male line. Again, this is true for Christians, as well as for Muslims. Over the past ten years, it has become more and more common for weddings to take place in mosques, for example.
The marriage contract was signed at my home just before the wedding reception. After the wedding reception, my husband and I spent a night in a hotel in Cairo. Since Egypt is a predominantly Muslim country, and because of the widespread view of Islam as a religion which subjugates women and limits interaction between the sexes, readers may understandably jump to the conclusion that this wedding night custom is an Islamic one. My Honeymoon I met my husband at work when I was twenty-eight years old. Historically, bridal virginity was prized in many cultures. It was nice to get away from all the well-meaning relatives — and we both needed a rest before getting back to work. Nevertheless, there are still cases where a couple more especially the woman is forced to marry against their wishes. The religious, as opposed to legal, legitimacy of this type of marriage is debatable. A date was set for my parents-in-law to come to Cairo. We decided to get married. At the same time, a new type of change is presently taking place in traditional Egyptian marriage customs. In Egyptian cities, for example, young people meet one another at work, universities, schools, clubs and other public or private places. Many contemporary Egyptian marriage traditions date back to ancient Egypt where marriage was both a civil and legal relationship. Honeymoons are popular among Egyptian urban upper and middle class families. My uncle, one of the two witnesses to the marriage, brought the contract into my room for me to sign I was with female relatives, trying to get into my wedding dress. It is also temporary in nature. To recapitulate, because time-honored traditions and symbols are so essential to most Egyptians, evolving customs related to marital intimacy are almost unacknowledged by society. Opposite Trends The normative changes in inter-personal behavior between men and women described above can be qualified as a departure from conservatism and tradition. Pre-marital sex, at least in Cairo and other large cities, is increasing. Whether the couple is of modest means or wealthy, city-bred or country-bred, Egyptian engagements and weddings are resplendent with enough food, music, performance and ceremony to create what is always a spectacular social event. Over time, these traditions have been modified by a series of cultural and religious intrusions Greek, Roman, Christian and Muslim and by the influences of our modern era. In Egypt, as in the rest of the Arab world, descent is traced through the male line. We went out several times and discovered we were in love a few months later. Islam, like most other religions, prohibits sexual intercourse outside of marriage — for both men and women. This is one reason why pre-marital sex is on the rise.
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The Wedding Night
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