I think you'll get through it, just stick up for yourself and be clear about how your boundaries and needs aren't a reflection of your feelings for her. That is still the plan for Saturday, right? FWIW I think lydhre's comment addresses it especially well. You're gonna need some verbal communication too. I'm having the interesting experience right now of being in the opposite position -- not wanting sex as often as my partner -- because of some maaaajor life stresses. If she feels wanted more often than not, she'll probably be willing to take a day or two off if you explain that you just can't keep up ahem. A lot of people have spoken up about what it's like to be the higher-libido partner and to feel like you're being rejected by your partner.
Start with the assumption that both of your concerns are per cent valid, and really spell out how the two of you, together, want your sex life to be. He often resents it, as if I had some sort of control over the physiological response. She feels like having sex on Sunday, you say no, that's rejection, no matter how justified. Find a moment when you're both relaxed and happy -- not during one of these episodes -- and talk it out. If you're usually not the one initiating, try coming on to her before she gets a chance to come on to you. Meaning non-penetration as well. Men are currently advised to stop having sex in the days before they provide a sperm sample for IVF treatment. You are going to have to be a giving partner rather than one who insists on exercising your inalienable right to say no. I can't imagine these folks would give you the same advice if the genders in your question were reversed, and I think that underscores why I think your GF's behavior is particularly unacceptable. That said she needs to cut it out with the crying. Touch her skin, stroke her hair, kiss her neck. If she needs vaginal sex super often the general Dan Savage advice is look into opening up the relationship just for sexual things, not emotional needs. It sounds, first off, like she wants to feel loved and accepted and cared for. Follow us on Twitter: You, in your mild annoyance, might come off as cold and incredulous. That sort of insecurity is really close to the surface for a lot of people — and, sad to say, it's especially close to the surface for a lot of women, since our culture really encourages women to feel that sort of body anxiety. She is the love of my life but I can't keep having the same argument every two weeks for the rest of my life. But a long-term relationship of any decency needs passion and communication, and just picking one is rarely going to work out. With that said, don't have sex when you don't want to. Once she has the fear of rejection issue addressed, you guys need to come to an agreement about how you both can get your needs met that is win-win. Stick to those things if you aren't totally down with having sex in a way that gets you off too. In fact, every time I try to express how I feel about it, she starts to cry which I am beginning to suspect is a subtle form of manipulation to get me to acquiesce. I cannot stand that 'excuse' for pressuring your partner for sex - if you truly want to feel loved how the hell is having sex with a non-enthusiastic partner going to do that? Not that emotional problems are any easier to fix than sexual problems. But not all the time. If it's not just that she's horny, if she really does feel so rejected anytime you are not in the mood for sex that it makes her cry, then I think therapy is needed. If you need another way to think about this, be aware that refusing to compromise on sexual frequency one of the most common issues in long-term relationships means that you will only ever be happy with someone whose sex drive is precisely the same as yours.
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