Ironically, the salaryman system that produced such segregated marital roles — wives inside the home, husbands at work for 20 hours a day — also created an ideal environment for solo living. And the centuries-old belief that the purpose of marriage is to produce children endures. Across urban Asia, Europe and America, people are marrying later or not at all, birth rates are falling, single-occupant households are on the rise and, in countries where economic recession is worst, young people are living at home. I go out with my girl friends — career women like me — to French and Italian restaurants. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe. Japan's punishing corporate world makes it almost impossible for women to combine a career and family, while children are unaffordable unless both parents work. She accepts that technology will shape the future, but says society must ensure it doesn't take over.
It became awkward when the question of the future came up. Her end was not pretty. She berates the government for "making it hard for single people to live however they want" and for "whipping up fear about the falling birth rate". For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe. They're coming to me because they think that, by wanting something different, there's something wrong with them. Emi Kuwahata, 23, and her friend, Eri Asada, 22, meet me in the shopping district of Shibuya. It's the word I hear both sexes use most often when they talk about their relationship phobia. Lacking long-term shared goals, many are turning to what she terms "Pot Noodle love" — easy or instant gratification, in the form of casual sex, short-term trysts and the usual technological suspects: Aversion to marriage and intimacy in modern life is not unique to Japan. Her work today, she says, is far more challenging. Aoyama says the sexes, especially in Japan's giant cities, are "spiralling away from each other". I don't even like holding hands. Japanese women have become more independent and ambitious. Fewer babies were born here in than any year on record. Kunio Kitamura, head of the JFPA, claims the demographic crisis is so serious that Japan "might eventually perish into extinction". Back then, about 15 years ago, she was Queen Ai, or Queen Love, and she did "all the usual things" like tying people up and dripping hot wax on their nipples. Ironically, the salaryman system that produced such segregated marital roles — wives inside the home, husbands at work for 20 hours a day — also created an ideal environment for solo living. The sense of crushing obligation affects men just as much. I go out with my girl friends — career women like me — to French and Italian restaurants. She accepts that technology will shape the future, but says society must ensure it doesn't take over. Her first name means "love" in Japanese, and is a keepsake from her earlier days as a professional dominatrix. She just doesn't want a relationship and casual sex is not a good option, she says, because "girls can't have flings without being judged". Married working women are sometimes demonised as oniyome, or "devil wives". But what endless Japanese committees have failed to grasp when they stew over the country's procreation-shy youth is that, thanks to official shortsightedness, the decision to stay single often makes perfect sense. I don't miss boyfriends or sex. Japan's unders won't go forth and multiply out of duty, as postwar generations did.
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