Sex in the open

For this, I talked to mussel farmers in a pub in the Coromandel about what being a man meant to them. What effect has the internet had on the way we, as a nation, talk and think about sex? Did you learn anything that you applied in your personal life? If no one's saying anything, then is anyone even listening? I don't know the answers either and I want to stay connected to my partner. Oh yeah, I learned so much. I am a genuine stand-in for the listener:

Sex in the open


But I read in a book about podcast storytelling that you need a central character in any series that you are invested in and that you follow through. They shared intimate things with me but then directly afterwards, they would throw out some horrific, degrading line. Did you learn anything that you applied in your personal life? I interviewed about 50 people but their stories did not continue throughout the season. That is leading to worrying trends, such as young girls being coerced into anal sex and young people thinking porn is what sex should look like. You have shared personal accounts from your own life — did that come naturally to you? Bryan [Crump] read it on air and it brought this huge storm of tweets and texts. This can be a controversial topic, but how important is it? It was disrespectful and rude, but because I was there face to face with them, and I could see how they were hurting and struggling, I could not shut down the conversation. I can't afford therapy — that's how I got those answers. Oh yeah, I learned so much. I understand why they are scared or anxious about us talking about sex, but the emails and texts I received from people thanking me are worth more. I like telling stories that aren't otherwise being told and that doesn't include me. Well, how long have we got? They were in their early 70s. It can be a lifeline for young people. If no one's saying anything, then is anyone even listening? Am I hearing what I'm hearing? What effect has the internet had on the way we, as a nation, talk and think about sex? Moments like that I had to laugh politely. They went back and forth being kind of aggressively defensive and being vulnerable and open. I was there for an hour drinking beer and we left hugging and being kind of mates. We've got mainstream, free pornography filling in for sexual education when teenagers aren't getting it at school or at home. I am a genuine stand-in for the listener: If we do that work when kids are young then not only does that prepare them and they will be more likely to have consensual and enjoyable experiences later on, but it also saves us cleaning up a lot of damage later on. It's nerve-racking because when you start examining and unpacking masculinity people can get quite defensive and aggressive. I don't know the answers either and I want to stay connected to my partner.

Sex in the open

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4 Comments on “Sex in the open”

  1. It's one of the most important topics. Bryan [Crump] read it on air and it brought this huge storm of tweets and texts.

  2. I interviewed about 50 people but their stories did not continue throughout the season. They shared intimate things with me but then directly afterwards, they would throw out some horrific, degrading line.

  3. How would a more open and matter-of-fact attitude to sex change us as a society? If we do that work when kids are young then not only does that prepare them and they will be more likely to have consensual and enjoyable experiences later on, but it also saves us cleaning up a lot of damage later on.

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