I think gender and sexuality are fluid. An anonymous fellow echoes that point, "Compersion is also definitely real. But whether or not you embrace that fluidity, I think it's important to know that who you are, and what you do, can be separate things. When it's been me, my wife, and another dude, it's nice to make her the center of attention. Careful negotiation is key. Have you got a burning question of your own? But I felt really positive about it, like I was being helpful and supportive, and wanted both of them to have a good time and enjoy each other. As for healthy, that's a trickier and more personal question. There's nothing inherently unhealthy about inviting another man into your bed.
In order to really dig into this issue I reached out to men who identify as straight or mostly straight and asked about their experiences having threesomes that included other men. How you identify your sexuality and who you have sex with, or adjacent to, doesn't have to line up to any cultural expectations. I only have two hands, one dick, and a single mouth. When it's been me, my wife, and another dude, it's nice to make her the center of attention. But given how stigmatized everything to do with sex and sexuality is, it's no surprise we worry about what stepping even an inch off the mainstream path means about us. And having an assist to get her off can be good. An anonymous fellow echoes that point, "Compersion is also definitely real. My unscientific queries lead to the solid conclusion that, yes, lots of people are engaging in this kind of play. Hawkeye explains, "There are ways to play that don't involve sexuality between men if that is an issue. I think gender and sexuality are fluid. There's nothing inherently unhealthy about inviting another man into your bed. Whatever you're into is probably fine, as long as it only involves consenting adults. And I see younger generations embracing that fluidity and also pushing back against the labeling of everything to do with sex and sexuality. Having extras of all of those can ensure better coverage on various erogenous zones. As for healthy, that's a trickier and more personal question. To circle back to the original question, is it normal to involve another guy in bed? Have you got a burning question of your own? The real question is weather it's healthy for you at this point in your life and in your relationship, and only you can answer that question. Erik tackled the "does it make you gay" elephant in the room head-on by saying, "I consider myself very straight but also have those experiences in my past. The reader asks, "I just want to know if it's normal or healthy for me to involve another guy in bed. In this case I actually put the condom on him before he penetrated my partner, it was the first time I had ever touched another man's equipment. Be aware of your boundaries and intentions and it should be a great experience for everyone. Just about any sexual scenario you can imagine is no more than a few willing bodies and a clear negotiation away from reality. I actually think that exploration helped me solidify who I am and what I want. But if you feel solid in your relationship, and confidant in your ability to negotiate both desires and boundaries with each other and with your potential third, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't make your fantasy a reality.
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