Stop watching violent porn. Do you really want your sons or daughters thinking that porn sex is real? We are so oblivious to what we are listening to, this language quickly becomes the norm. What can we do about this? It reminded me of a film I watched and use in my teaching about mail order brides and the way white, wealthy guys were buying and sexually exploiting women as servile brides from deprived areas. The first point is the violence in the language.
Role models in hip hop, rap and RnB are using this language in their hit songs. He talks about destroying and identifying targets. Beat that pussy up. So did Slim Thug. These are words that describe violence and injury. Here are some examples that are on porn sites today 18th May Stop watching porn all together. However, its incomplete to argue that these lyrics and language only affect men and boys — the reality is that these lyrics, language, imagery and porn affects women and girls too. If you want to affect change, get involved in anti-porn activism and help to change the world. When women like Long, Dines, Bindel and Blac talk to us about violence in porn, they are not talking about a light tap, they are not taking anything out of context or exaggerating, they are talking about the sexualisation of choking women, beating women up, raping women on camera and hurting them so badly during sex acts that they cry out for help, pass out or scream in pain. When something sexually aggressive or degrading comes on the TV, use co-viewing to start a debate or discussion about what you are seeing. Beat that pussy up! Professionals working with children and young people If you are a professional, you can do absolutely everything I have listed for parents and you can also make it your mission to educate other professionals about the way language is changing to encourage the normalisation of sexual violence towards women and girls — especially as you may be working with young people you can influence through your direct work, counselling, youth work or in school sessions. Read about the abuse and rapes of Jenna Jameson and why she is now an anti-porn advocate. Instead, focus on bringing your children up to be critical thinkers and media-savvy. The harm of women is becoming glorified, not normalised. They are also absorbing these messages as normal, and as shown by the work on hypersexualisation of girls by the APA in , girls and women normalise and accept these sexually violent behaviours because they have been taught by society that they are supposed to enjoy them. Here are the lyrics from Slim Thug: Actually not the norm, the goal. I bet it takes you less than 60 seconds of scrolling. In a follow up study, men listening to misogynistic lyrics were more likely to subject women to ice-water-treatment than men who did not listen to the misogynistic lyrics. Talk to them about the language — use the songs on the radio as an opportunity, a blessing in disguise and start to comment on the language. There was this one guy who used military metaphors to discuss meeting and having sex with potential brides. Where is this sexually violent language coming from? You only have to look at the titles of porn films on Pornhub or X Videos to see the way they describe women in violent and degrading terms to see where this is coming from. They no longer converse about sex in human terms — they talk in metaphors and disconnected, dehumanised language. Boycott this language everywhere you hear it or see it.
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